Day 75 - I heart PCP?

We had been hearing rumours it was on the horizon and today it was officially announced - the third and final (pause for effect) INDULGENCE!!!!! Gilles and I spent a good 20 minutes throwing around some ideas as to where we should go and finally we have come to a decision (no French) and are going for an all out epic lunch tomorrow. More details to follow on the next post. Already I am rubbing my hands together in anticipation. It's gonna be amaaaaazing! Admittedly this week has been a bit rough. I've had a few days where I didn't stick to the diet - yes a few glasses of wine may have been consumed, I've had a few meals out and this evening I went to a b'day and had a piece of cake. I don't want to let myself go so close to the end but perhaps since I am starting to see some good results am being a little self-forgiving but after tomorrow's indulgence I plan to put the blinkers on until day 90 and try and get through all this with as many perfect close to perfect days as possible.

A few weeks ago I sent my blog link to my family to let them know what I have been up to. My mum was in HK when I was just starting all this. She's highly suspect of any and all diets so the weekly photos reassure her that I'm not wasting away into a shell. My sister made the observation that while it seems like it's proving to be effective it doesn't look like all that much fun. Of course she's right - let's be brutally honest. None of this is very fun at all, in fact some days it's an absolute nightmare. So what is it that keeps me going? Sure pride and accountability (since I have fessed up to a few people that I am doing this. I also don't want to get chucked out of the program. I got chucked out of enough when I was at school thanks.) but also because
- I like and need the structure otherwise I would have walked away long ago
- I feel so damn good - perhaps because we are now all natural drug addicts
- I have discovered a new love for vegetables and seafood (my Rick Stein book on complete seafood arrived today. Yay!). Now I actually crave fish - this is a first and I am sure would bring a tear to my ma's eye. All those years spent on trying to make me like fish...
- I have become somewhat hooked on pushing my body to its limit just to see what it is capable of
What I previously considered to be rigorous discipline and what to an objective outsider must seem like madness now just seems routine. Of course having an end date to all this does help immensely. Then I peek out and gingerly rejoin the real world but I'm quietly confidant that I can at least maintain the principles of regular exercise and a good diet. When you say it like that it seems so simple - and it actually is but somehow so many convenient excuses manage to get in the way. Basically what I am trying to say is that in the last 2 and a bit months I have learned to be a lot more honest with myself. I hope it stays that way.

I've been thinking a lot about the fact we only have 15 days left. This fills me with elation,  dread and sadness. The melancholy is probably because checking the PCP blogs has largely replaced the time I would have otherwise spent on facebook! But seriously, going through this with my group and seeing everyone struggle with same exercises, experience the same meltdowns and share in the various triumphs has been hugely reassuring and I'll miss that a lot. I've always needed structure and routine to be successful in diet and exercise so going it alone where it's just the voice in my head and not my weekly schedule or email from Patrick will be tough. What on earth is happening here? Am I in love with PCP? This is all sounding a bit like separation anxiety. Well that's enough musings for one evening - back to self-deprecating wry posts and food fantasies from tomorrow I promise. Let's hear it for indulgence day. Woooooo!!

By the way those FIVE 90 second planks were nasty. I actually thought I was going to pass out during plank no. 5. I now have a fair idea when I am approaching the minute mark (mainly because I start convulsing violently) but when I glanced over to my trusty stop watch I saw I had forgotten to start the timer - I almost burst into tears but vomited a vicious stream of profanities instead. Once composed I started my timer and did a super plank which must have been around 2.5 mins total because it very nearly killed me.